So a lot of things have been going on lately. Some way more funnier that others. Truthfully.. I am stressed but kinda happy stressed that I only have 4 more weeks until school is over. Well for a couple of weeks that is.
I decided this week to take all my educational basics at my community college than transfer to my university in less than a year. That is exciting huh? You know it is! But I am beginning to question school. I am just wondering if I have enough gas in me to make it to the finish line. I truly want to..but wanting and actually being able are two totally different things.
Not that I would ever trade in Jackson.. nope you cant have him!!! But sometimes, I just think how easy I had it pre-baby days. How I should have taken advantage of it. And how much it upsets me when I see my younger friends making the same mistakes that I did at their age. I just want to be the advocate for actually giving a fuck about your life, even at the age of 18 or 19.
Go to school people. Like, actually go. attend. take notes. be on time. You know that sort of thing. It is really only a small chunk of your life. You will have so much more time to party and live the dream. I promise!
You don't want to end up in your midlife and look back and realize how easy you had it and all that you could of done with yourself. It is a frustrating thing to do, look back on life.
I do think that I have a purpose just as everyone else does. And I do think I will reach it. I however would like to do it my way. Yes, I can be guided but... in my own direction.
So at the age of 22, I am now off to tucking in my 16 month old, picking up the remnants left from dinner, doing some art homework, writing an essay for my drugs and human health class, hopefully squeeze in a shower, than tuck myself in for bed, so I can be rested for tomorrow where it all starts over again. Life.
2 comments:
You're doing great, Maegan! You juggle a lot of important stuff- I have tons of respect for you going to school. :)
Ok Maegen,
That was a very insightful bit of wisdom there... Now let me share mine.. Finish now!!!
It is not going to get easier, soon he will be 3, then 12, then 16 & so on & so on.. You are never going to reach a point in your life that going back to school is going to be simple.. Now you have Jackson & guess what sweetie.. life is going to throw many more curve balls at you. Everytime you think "OK, I will start next semester, because I will be over this & that" something else will come up.. Then you will be just like me.. 35, 2 kids, divorced (hopefully not), a great resume & no degree to back it up.. I tell you, starting over at 22 is much better that 35.. I tell you, I AM TIRED.. it only gets harder the older you get... Plus the incredible upside to all of this is that someday, your son will be able to look up to his wonderful mother & be able to see what all she has had to go through to make herself better for him & to make his life better & he will admire you for it.. Please do not get me wrong here.. I am not trying to one up you or make light of your situation, I know you are struggling, but just as you see the future for your younger friends, I can see the future for you.. You & I are alot alike & I promise you this is the truth.
Set a good example.
I love you,
Aunt Jenni
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