Work Out Blues

What does one do when they are pounded with loads of homework and is having the biggest writers block and the worst case of ADD? umm.. get up and go to Sonic for a chocolate milkshake in 40 degree weather, OF COURSE!

I only got a milkshake to enhance my lovely lady lump(y) figure.

But honestly, WHY don't I have the motivation to lose weight? I really really want to have the body I had when I was 16, I do! and I know every step that I need to make to reach that goal. But its that first step that is so hard. I know that I am the type that needs to go to the gym in order to get the right kind of workout.

I don't believe in exercise videos. I just cant do them. I feel silly getting all my work out gear on and getting down in my living room. It is exceptionally hard to get my work out on when there is a huge shiny fridge in my peripheral vision. I usually end up pausing the video when I am out of breathe and head towards the fridge or the pantry. How awful is that?

At least my jaw is getting a work out.

Know A Good Plastic Surgeon?

So how do you know that it is time to lose weight? Other than the obvious being when you sit in a plastic chair and stand up the chair gets stuck on your butt. While that is a great reason, it isn't mine. Mine involves more complex reasons. Like my toddler's new favorite toy is mommy's tummy. This isn't funny people. Just confirms the fact that a tummy tuck is in my immediate future.

So I am lying on the floor, I had been playing with Jackson when something on t.v. caught my eye. Probably the new cutting machine on the infomercials.. that thing looks amazing. I don't have any need to cut things with a perfectly straight line or corrugated edge, but still...why would you want to go through life without one of those. Might get it as a just in case.. Just in case I need to put a perforated edge of something.

So anyways I am lying on the floor. When Jackson comes up and jumps on my stomach. He then lifts up my shirt and stares. I thought it was my belly button that he was fascinated with or perhaps he was gloating in the success of all the stretch marks he left. Like he was proud of the mark he left. But nope it was the whole package. He poked down at my belly button and then at the area around it. He was amazed. He proceeded to poke and prod at the fleshiness(which he caused by the way) and began to laugh.

This my friends, was the low point of my post-Jackson days. My stomach already went through the turmoil of going from a nice flat muscular tummy to a rather large pregnant belly to what it is now, nothing but inflated skin. This is where the term flabolanche comes from.

I know that it is a work in progress. I know I had a baby(ummm 14 months ago) I know in my heart that it will one day be that tight little number it was 23 months ago. But for the mean time I would like to keep it out of Jack's sight. I will keep the flabolanche at bay so Jackson wont wanna play...

On a side note: That is NOT me up there!! Google it if you dont believe me

It has been a rough couple of days, compounded with the stress I already have....I will be back from my blog hiatus in a day perhaps.

On A Lighter Note

After my very somber sounding post from Tuesday, I wanted to follow up with some some cute pictures that will give you the warm fuzzies and an incredibly hilarious video that had me in hysteria for a good 15 minutes. Which doesn't sound long but honestly, imagine laughing uncontrollably for 15 minutes. I got my major ab workout for the day.

Pet Mouse Vs. Hawk

And here are the warm fuzzies I could find:

Added Stress

Anyone who knows me personally, can completely agree with the fact that my middle name is hypochondriac. I am one so much so that I believe I even wrote a blog about it in the past. Well anyways... add stress to that situation and you have one frazzled woman.

I just started school this week. I am taking 15 hours. Which seems like a lot to begin with...plus taking care of my 14 month old, its going to be exciting to say the least. I dread that I will have no me time ever and will push away those closest to me in the effort to get things done.

Well I just received some not so good news from my doctor. I had a lump in one of my breasts and it turns out they would like to do further testing. By the looks of the mammogram pictures it looks like a benign solid mass, but they need to perform a biopsy to rule out everything. Nice. So if you can only imagine the things going through my hypochondriac brain of mine. It goes from being poked in the boob by a monster needle to a picture of me with no hair due to chemotherapy. I am not trying to make that a joking image..I am serious people this is what my brain synapses automatically associate biopsies too.

I really wish there was a magic cancer pill that solved every one's problems. I am not saying I have cancer but honestly its a 50-50 chance right? And that my friends is some scary shit. I have always wanted a boob job so I figure opting for the double mastectomy and getting fake ones put in..doesn't sound like that bad of an option.

I guess it is WAY to early to be thinking along these lines. I still have 15 hours of school and my 14 month old to worry about. Until then I am going to try my darnest to put those awful thoughts and biopsy jitters behind me because honestly there isn't any room left in me for them to stay.

U.B. Syndrome

Which stands for Ugly Baby Syndrome. Come on now, I am not being a total heartless bitch. You know damn well that you have been down that road before. Whenever my friends and I see and ugly baby we say, "wow...gotta case of the U.B.s" Sounds very Mean Girls huh? But honestly. What do you do or what do you say?

Out of all the babies I know there are a couple and I mean maybe 2 or 3 that I would say got slapped with the U.B. stick. Don't worry my Internet mama's I will PROMISE that not one of your kiddos falls into that group. Both of these babies I know in real life. I can't help it.

While I was pregnant I made my best friend vow to me that she would be 100% honest when it came to Jack's looks. If there is anyone I know I can trust Val to speaketh the truth. Thankfully she told me she is afraid to have kids because she doesn't think she can produce anything cuter than Jack. Which my answer to her was..you are damn right you cant! It takes talent to pop out a kid with a face like that.

But we all know that every mother thinks that their child is the cutest. But I wonder what the mother of U.B.s think. And what do you say to the mother of U.B.s about their little ones? "Aww they are so.....intelligent. Brains is better than beauty." I wonder if they know they have a U.B. and are just in denial. I dunno... I guess it is something I will never know the true answer to. That's because my child is a part of the W.T.A.A.C.B. group, aka. Wow that's an amazingly cute baby! group.

Eye in the Sky

As I have mentioned before, Jackson started daycare this week. It has been good so far. It truly is a great daycare, it really better be and I wish they put gold nuggets in Jack's pockets each day for the price it costs us weekly to keep him there. BUT they don't. They do however offer a very spiffy video camera option that allows you to monitor your child throughout the day. It is pretty awesome. But it definitely comes with its cons.

I think its great that I have the opportunity to watch my son while he is in the care of these teachers I barely know. BUT I just didn't get much done today. Instead I stayed home and watched my son on the computer all day. Really the only times I got up was when they were outside of the room. It was really addicting.

Up to 3 people at a time are allowed to watch the toddler show. This means my mom was watching while she was at work. My grandmother who is retired was watching and of course me. He is truly loved if you couldn't tell before.

While it is about a 10 on the awesome scale, being able to monitor him, it also conjured up a bunch of mommy emotions I didn't think could penetrate my rock of an attitude. Watching my little man sit all by himself, staring at the door like he was waiting for me to come and rescue him was NOT so much fun. At one point I was balling watching him. I usually pick up my little man at around 3:30-4 but not today. I couldn't stand just sitting here watching him wobble across the room. So I picked him up and hour and a half earlier.

As soon as I got in the car I got a call from my mom, my grandmother and my aunt. Apparently they all saw me on the camera pick him up and were relieved that I did so. So who exactly is this daycare thing harder on? Obviously the above mentioned...